life lessons and moving furniture

Last night I worked a 12 hour graveyard shift, and it taught me something very important: it is indeed possible to fall asleep while riding a bicycle. I woke up when it slammed into the railing on the railroad bridge, not far from my house. This lesson occurred while I was riding home from work early, early in the morning. Also, because I had absolutely no strength left in my legs, I rode ridiculously slowly with all the steadiness of a drugged bat. This being a very small town where everybody knows everyone’s business, I’m sure that the word of me being drunk at eight am has spread everywhere by now.

Finally I got home, where I could collapse in bed and sleep until five pm. Once upon a time, my bed was the best place on earth. Unfortunately, it has started to turn against me. The springs have begun to poke up through the mattress, biting me in the back and waking me up. Then I have to get out of bed to pull on the fabric, so that the little monsters are covered again for a while. I dare not even imagine what would happen if I was to attempt having sex on it. The springs would probably all come popping out, like murderous versions of a jack-in-a-box, and kill the both of us. Not that I’d have the energy to do something like that these days, anyway, with all the overtime I’ve been putting in.
There’s another bed in one of my guestrooms that I love. I don’t want to sleep in there, though, and moving bed nr.1 to my bedroom and bed nr.2 into the guestroom, seems like a very strenuous job. If I couldn’t muster up the energy to have sex, I definitely don’t have the strength to move furniture around. Anyone wanna volunteer to do it for me? Move the beds, I mean…