Pain in installments

It doesn’t feel as if it’s been very long since the last time I went to the dentist, but it’s almost time for me to get another of those reminders in the mail. When I was younger, I went to a public dentist. I remember he had on those mouth protector things (can’t remember what they’re called) all the time. He never ever took them off, so I only ever saw the top half of his face. Beady, little eyes and bristle-like beard sticking out from behind the mask. Maybe he was afraid that his patients would give him some horrible disease, or something. He would also whistle constantly, and never speak unless he absolutely had to. If he was drilling, the whistling became very intense.

Then last year, I started going to a private dentist office, and I discovered that there are two fundamental differences between private and public when it comes to dentistry.

1. A public dentist will cause you more pain and take less of your money. You will have to sit in a waiting room and wait for up to an hour, never less than thirty minutes.
2. A private dentist will cause you less pain and take more of your money. You rarely have to wait. This is probably because of the fact that it’s more expensive and they’re eager to get their hands on the content of your wallet.

I read somewhere that many Hollywood superstars have their own teeth yanked out and replaced with falsies that are white and shiny. I guess this might save you many trips to the dentist, but you’re kinda getting all the pain of all the dental treatments that you’d receive in an average life-span, all rolled up into one session.

Personally, I think I prefer pain in instalments.