Stop kissing me, woman!

Well, would you look at that

Spring is...springing. Sort if. If you ignore the little snowflakes scattered around. And the fact that I nearly froze bits off taking this picture. Then again, my bits often claim to be freezing off in the middle of June, so they're not what you'd call reliable for gauging temperatures.

What kind of idiot flower decides to come out in this weather? I'm hoping it's got psychic abilities, and that it's out because it somehow KNOWS that winter is dead. 'Cause let's face it; winter pretty much stops being interesting once Christmas is over. Unless you're one of those crazy people who like to throw themselves off of mountains with flat sticks strapped to their legs.

Anyways...

Here's a picture of the pretty little idiot.

I go fakir!

Ever heard of those plastic 'bed of nails' things that are all the rage these days? Well, at least they are in this part of the world. I'm taking about acupuncture mats, like This one from amazon.

The mister's physio therapist told him that she had one, and it had "melted her brain" to such a degree that she had been unable to focus on the book she was reading. Well, since the mister has back issues, he went out and got one.

The first time he tried it, he fell asleep for an hour and woke up looking so dopey, I half expected him to start drooling. I didn't mind the idea of having my brain melted, too, so I decided to try it. The mister explained how the trick is to just relax all your muscles and the thing will eventually become comfortable to lie on.

I did so well, he decided to document it. Don't I look relaxed?

January whatnots

This month, I was all set to take lots of pictures of stuff getting wet in the rain. Then Outside suddenly decided to go all wintry on me. As soon as it starts to snow, Pooch can sense it. Pooch can sense the falling snow, even from her deepest sleep in front of the fire, and then she has to go outside IMMEDIATELY. Until her toes get cold. Then she has to come inside IMMEDIATELY. Pooch is weird. And spoiled, as the mister likes to point out.

Run, Forrest!

And then I wrote a completely brilliant blog post and accidentally deleted it, and this is my attempt at recreation. Oh well, I made the picture prettier this time, so something good came out of it.

On numerous occasions in the past, I have said that I would not run unless I was being chased by something big and hungry with long, sharp teeth. Or maybe one of my exes. Or a Jehovah's witness.

Then, not very long ago, I took up running. And I liked it, too. Today I broke 5k for the very first time. I didn't do it fast. Hell, a Jehovah's witness might have been able to catch me at that speed. The ex...not so much. With the big, hungry something, I'd just hope to run into someone that I could push in front of it as a distraction.

But anyways, I'm ridiculously proud of this:

In the garden with Pooch

Thirty!

1. Shes 5'2. He's 6'2. She has a perfect view up his nose and he's always the first person to know when her roots start to grow out. 

2. Shes a microbiologist (freelances atm) and he lectures in English and media science. 

3. He studied at the university of Aarhus, she at HIT. 

4. She gets baby shivers throughout the day. He makes fun of her baby shivers. 

5. They were engaged in London in November 2012 (I think. It might have been October. What do I look like? Some sort of calendar app?) 

6. They met on the internets. 

7. She's Norwegian, he's Danish. They live in in Denmark, in a little house, made out of red bricks. They have little or no control of their garden.

8. They love video games. And computer games. And phone games and iPad games. Not so much with the board games, though. Especially not trivial pursuit. 

9. He is a coffee Fanatic with a capital F. The kind that researches brewing methods and stuff like that. She likes hers with lots of sweetener and cream, and she doesn't notice if it's instant. 

10. She's incredibly ticklish. He isn't ticklish at all. It's horribly unfair. 

11. She talks in her sleep. Sometimes he lays awake and writes down what she says, and then emails it to her. She then absolutely denies ever talking in her sleep. It goes something like this: "I only ever make dainty, lady-like noises, even when I'm unconscious." He responds with a lot of eye rolling and makes comments about snoring...

12. They're not really planning on having any kids. They don't think they have the patience or enough gaming consoles. 

13. She has never travelled all that much. He's been pretty much everywhere. Even weird places. 

14. She keeps forgetting to shut off the faucet in the bathroom. He's reminded her a gazillion times. It never takes. 

15. She's always losing microfiber cloths (clean iPad screens are VERY important). He keeps reminding her to put them back. That never takes, either. 

16. She always used to take a glass of water to bed in the evening, and would forget to bring it downstairs in the morning. Eventually, her side of the bedroom would be full of glasses. He found that just a tiny bit annoying. Then she stopped (for the most part). Now he's doing it. 

17. They eat a lot of bacon. 

18. He hates sleeping in chilly rooms. She's always liked to keep the bedroom windows wide open, even in the dead of winter. 

19. She likes to name all her favourite stuff. He then threatens to take them back to the store, but he never does. 

20. She thinks he's weird for putting creme fraiche on cakes. He thinks she's weird for spreading it on pizza. 

21. He cuts open his egg rolls and fills them with ketchup and remoulade.  She thinks he's a freak. 

22. They have really strange inside jokes. Like "f*ck eggs!" Get it? No? My point, exactly. 

23. She is completely addicted to diet soda and sweetener. He doesn't even put anything in his tea.  He's always reading articles about the evil of Aspartame and telling her about them.

24. She cries easily if she's sleep deprived. He knows to keep the cookies and candy coming on those days.

25. She is a bit of a drunkard, but he forgives her. 

26. He wrote nr. 25 and it's totally not true. He lies. 

27.  If you tickle her underneath the chin, it causes an involuntary spasm. Because she HATES that. If there is such a thing as reincarnation, one of her causes of death would probably have been piano wire. He once chased her through the house with a camera in order to document it. 

28. Their (third) anniversary is in March. 

29. She's fascinated by zombies. He sometimes pretends to be a zombie and she pretends to not be totally creeped out by that. 

30. She always walks around with her nose in a book. He gets  nervous when she's going up or down stairs. 

New baby!

I've been wanting a coffee pod machine for ages. The mister has been dead set against them for even longer. He's a total coffee gourmet. When he makes a cup of coffee, it's a scientific process, and there's a whole lot of research involved. When I make a cup of coffee, I throw in sweeteners and cream until I am left with a vaguely coffee flavoured liquid. I've been doing that pretty much every day for nearly three years and it still manages to horrify him.

But because he's a sweetiepie, he has (reluctantly) learned my way of making coffee for those days when I'm just to lazy to fix one myself. We've developed a routine. He'll make me a proper cup of coffee, then he'll say "do you want crap in it?" I will say yes, thank you. Then he sighs very deeply. I'll take a dainty little sip and go "mmmm!" He will then make a little comment about my inability to recognise good coffee if it jumped up and bit my ass off.

Anyways...coffee pods are ridiculously expensive. Therefore, I decided that I would drink one - two at the very most - cups pr. day. It's not really going according to plan.



I'm not good with that whole self restraint thing...

But what does it mean?

Sometime during the night, the mister took the time to email me this picture. I have no idea why, I'm sure.

December whatnots

I've never been one of those people who take a lot of photos. Or any photos, really. The occasional myspace-angle-profile-picture not included. I thought I might try to get better at that, or something. So now I'm going to force you poor sods to look at some of the bad pictures I took of December. I even made a collage for your viewing pleasure. Maybe I'll even do one for January. There would be lots of pictures of rain. 

You welcome

An apocalypse of my very own

So it looks as if the world isn't ending, after all. Therefore I have decided to arrange my very own End of the World Extravaganza. It will consist of me stuffing my face with candy, while watching apocalyptic movies. I will also cast the occasional glance out the window, and as soon as I see anything fiery falling out of the sky, my Christmas calendar is gonna get it.

Happy apocalypse, everyone!

Toothy adventures

A little while ago, I chipped a tooth. Let's just say I've learned that when I'm trying to eat something which turns out to be harder than I thought, I no longer think that I can still crush it with my mighty super-hero teeth.

And now I need to go to the dreaded dentist. Or so the logical part of my brain likes to tell me. Then there's the not-so-logical part, which likes to point out that the worst thing that can happen, is that it dies and falls out. And you can't even see it unless I do this:




There aren't really a lot of situations where that facial expression is called for.

The weekend

I made a pie, while listening to 'eye of the tiger' again and again.

Now you get to watch the picture and listen to this:

Pooch's December Lesson

Having lived with Pooch for the past 12+ years, I don't really notice all the little sounds she makes throughout the day anymore. The Mister, however, is newer to this whole dog-thing. He is frequently driven to the brinks of insanity by the sound of Pooch licking her butt. In order to distract her, he will throw a pepper nut at her. A pepper nut, by the way, is a bit like a gingerbread whatever, only in the shape of a small ball. They're a Christmas thing.




Now it's only a matter of time before Pooch comes to the conclusion that whenever she licks her arse, the p-nuts will start to fly. Then we will never see her face again...

Location:Møller Andersensvej,Tjele,Danmark

Guilty pleasure

This is the Kai cake. It's quite possibly the very bestest cake in the entire universe. the downside is that you can't stick your fork in it without feeling like a terrible human being...

Oops, I did it again!

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, did I fall off the wagon... They don't call it world of warcrack for nothing. So if you don't hear from me in a few months, send in the rescue team!




Because right now, this is me:

Look what I found!

On January 19th this year, this article appeared in Swedish news:

A homeless, naked dwarf went berserk this weekend, in the streets of Stockholm. Several people in the area tried to catch the intoxicated dwarf in a net, but failed.  

"He was like a fast animal. He moved tirelessly from side to side," says Tareq Ali Andersson, who happened to be passing by, when the dwarf suddenly leaped out, baring his yellow teeth, before he started to thrust his penis up against the parked cars. 

"It was terrible. Poor car owners. It looked like it hurt, too. Every time he pressed his little penis against the cars, it froze and stuck, before he tore it loose again. I will never forget the sound that he made before he ran away and disappeared." 

Now, this might be politically incorrect of me to say, but I would kill - and I do mean KILL - to have seen that. Even just the bit where people are trying to catch the drunk, naked dwarf in a net... Seriously, to witness something like that, I would stop someone's heart from beating.

Sidekick/mini-me wanted!

Must be hard working, experienced, responsible & reliable. In short; must be able to imitate an adult during working hours.

Please do not apply if you oversleep, have no alarm clock, have no car, have court often, have no baby sitter every day, have to give friends rides to work later than I expect you to start work, experience flat tires every week, have to hold on to your cell phone all day, or become an expert on your job without needing to learn or take advice after the first day. Must be able to talk and work at the same time. Must remember to come back to work after lunch. Should not expect to receive purple ribbons or gold stars for showing up on time.

Also:

Boom goes the dynamite!

So I was in the bathroom, doing my thang, when I made a certain noise and heard Mister Choochoo's voice from outside say; "boom goes the dynamite!" We're definitely past that stage of our relationship where we hide our impolite noises from each other. Hell, around here, those noises are another form of communication.

Meanwhile, in London...