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Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Of chips and toilets and friends and alien probes.

For some reason, I have a burning desire to eat chips. Not just any chips. The extra crunchy local type that looks a bit like wax. It’s not as disgusting as it sound. Actually, that’s not true. Chips are pretty disgusting. They make your insides feel greasy after you eat them. Not to mention that I stuff myself with the crap so rarely, I inevitably end up spending the evening on the big porcelain telephone, trying very hard to make a call.


I know all of this. It makes no difference.

Since I don’t have any chips, I’ll distract myself with a random brainfart. Lately (since I ran out of chips) I’ve been contemplating the fact that I have a certain selection of friends and no idea where they came from. I can’t remember ever having met any of them. Suddenly, they were just there. Like alien implants.

Hang on… alien implants aren’t really supposed to be sudden, are they? They’re usually preluded by the presence of little green men in your bedroom, whisking your pyjama-clad, half-conscious carcass into their big and flashy, yet subtle mothership, leaving you with an inexplainable memory of not being abducted by spacemen, but of seeing an owl or something.

I did see a fox once on my way to class. Or did I? Could it be that my mysterious friends from nowhere are my very own alien implants?

7 comments:

Jazz said...

I'm thinking you are the alien implant in our cozy little universe.

choochoo said...

damn! Foiled again.

Hagelrat said...

yeah, we rumbled you ages ago! ;)

choochoo said...

oh well. I'll just let it aaaall hang out from now on, then. Heheeh.

tom said...

Wecontinue to keep a close eye on you!

Hammer said...

Kettle chips don't make me feel greasy. Alien implants on the other hand...

6p00d83452d3ce69e2 said...

It's the effect of the full-spectrum blue light commonly associated with alien abduction, often stimulating luteinising hormones, which makes you crave the chips and then, later, desire to talk on the big phone. Makes the implants itch too...