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Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Choochoo thinks about spandex and soft, fleshy areas

Everybody has a mental list of things they would like to achieve in life.  My mum has always wanted to see Rome. I have a friend who dreams of owning a walk-in closet filled with nothing but high-heeled shoes. His name is Joe. Personally, I would like to develop an actual superpower. I think that’s the only hope I’ll ever have of being able to pull off wearing spandex. On the other hand, I don’t really want to wear spandex, so learning how to fly or to shoot lightning bolts through my eyeballs, isn’t really a big priority, all things considered.

 

Among my somewhat realistic goals, is learning how to drive a car. I would also like to drive the pope-mobile, but that’s more of a random that-might-be-fun idea, which is categorized along with things like going skiing in the mountains. The rational part of my brain – which I like to call Bergerac – knows that it will most likely end with screaming, pain and an extended stay in my friendly neighbourhood hospital.

 

Driving classes and such are ridiculously expensive in these parts, and the powers-that-be are completely anal about letting people get into a car without knowing how to “control the vehicle and blah, blah, blah.” I always figured I could just apply the same technique to my driving that I do to my skiing: go forth at ridiculous speeds and then hope to land on a soft, fleshy area.

10 comments:

computer programmer joe said...

While I find imagining you in spandex mighty entertaining, I wouldn't recommend it for most people.

Also, there are few things more gratifying to a boy than driving ridiculously fast in the confidence that you are the best driver in the world. :D

Hammer said...

Driving is easy it's other morons on he road that make driving lessons necessary.

Jazz said...

Hammer is right. It's not US it's them.

Oh and spandex? Bleh. Can you have a superpower wear linen?

TOM said...

Just act like you know what you are doing, practice on xbox and remember if anyone cuts you off, gesticulate wildly and call them names , just make sure your window is rolled up.

Hagelrat said...

I second hammer and jazz, there are some real morons on the road. I keep up a pretty much continuous diatribe while i drive. It takes in too slow, too fast, stupid move, dangerous move, being a pillock, fancying themselves, being elderly and generally being a cock. Oh and being younger and/or prettier than me and having a nicer car aswell.

choochoo said...

Joe - yeah...uhm...I don't think you'll be seeing me in spandex any time soon. You'll have to settle for the labcoat :P

Hammer - you know, I always thought that.

Jazz - or cashmere

Tom - I'll remember that if I ever get around to doing the exam-thingy.

Toasty - Nobody's prettier than me. So there.

computer programmer joe said...

hmmm....labcoat *daydreams*

Jazz said...

Choochoo should think about some new stuff... :-p

Diet Plan said...

Hi

A great thinking about flashy.

Tiffany Sunglasses said...

It's always good to have goals that are realistic and can be achieved with hard work and proper attention.