What's that? Wierd and unexpected? Yes, well, it scared the shit out of me, as well, but there you go...
Behold, my poem:
Big, dumb and stupid Freddy O’Moule,
Discovered, in the woods, a large, funny hole.
Into the dark hole he stumbled and fell,
And tumbled and rolled all the way into hell.
He landed, quite painfully, on a large, pointy rock,
And as he looked around, he had a terrible shock.
There, in the corner, was his late wife, Pat.
“My god,” thought Freddy “Was she always that fat?”
He looked at her fearfully as he struggled to sit.
She said: “I knew you’d end up here, you worthless sack of shit.”
“I’m sorry,” said Freddy “I really can’t stay
Just thought I’d stop by. Now I’ll be on my way.”
“Once you’re here,” she said “You can never go back.
After you fell in, they closed up that crack.
You’re trapped here now, baby. In hell, here with me.
You’ll be stuck here forever, and you can never flee.”
Now Freddy is living some horrible dream,
And sometimes, when it’s quiet, you can still hear him scream.