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Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Trials, tribulations and Santa Claus

And so the madness begins… How the content of a red nose can make you doubt your own sanity:

Yesterday I had two hours free before work, so I decided to run some errands. When I say errands, I of course mean ‘mad shopping frenzy’. It started off as a perfectly respectable errand, though. I was simply going to do some Christmas shopping. But then I remembered that I could do with a pair of slippers and the snowball started rolling. Snowballs’ll do that. It’s snowball nature.

Amongst the things I bought, were a pair of very silly slippers, made to look like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Aren’t they purdy?



After work I sat down and made a playlist of sugary sweet Christmas songs, all while wearing my new slippers. I was right in the middle of a scary Christmas-spirit attack. They usually start around 1/3rd into December. At that point, I will turn into the Franz Mesmer of Xmas spirit.

There I was, slipping into a Bing Crosby induced holiday-trance, when something happened. I heard a voice. It was male and robotic and I was pretty sure it wasn’t coming from inside my head. “Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!” The Voice said.

I sat straight in my chair, eyes wide, convinced that it had finally happened – at long last I had lost my grasp on reality.

Then my friend suddenly said “maybe it’s the shoes.”

“Nah,” I said. “They’re not that advanced.” Still, I did a quick examination of the Rudolph’s noses and surely enough, inside one of them, I found a hard knob. I gave it a little squease and it shouted “Ho, ho, ho! Meeeerry Christmas!”

It was quite a relief, let me tell you. I honestly thought I’d gone bonkers there, for a second. I was all ready to run straight to the local hospital and have them stick my head in the MRI machine. But now I can just stay in. Yay me.


14 comments:

Jocelyn said...

Thank heavens your friend was there, or you'd have committed yourself by now...

Jazz said...

Your slippers talk. Alrighty then.

That font, but the way is scary to read.

Anonymous said...

I wasn't even there! I'm just psychic.

fracas said...

lol.. if I'd bought slippers that accidentally talked to me, they'd probably say, "Get off your butt and get those presents wrapped."

Maybe this year I won't be still wrapping gifts on the 24th...

Beth said...

Well, of course Rudolph’s nose utters a, “Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas!” when squeezed. ALL reindeer noses do – but only in December! ;)

Jeaux said...

That's a lot nicer than what some reindeer say when you squeeze their nose.

Maureen said...

Ahahahaaha!!! I LOVE the slippers! I have quite the obsession with reindeer at Christmastime. I want some.

lime said...

i can only imagine both your consternation and later relief at discovering your shoes were speaking to you.

choochoo said...

Jocelyn - I really, really would have. Or locked myself in a tower, or something.

Jazz - they do. They're special. We can have conversations now. Yay.

Anonymous - is it a bird? Is it a plane? Noooo! It's... PSYCHIC BRAINWAVE MAN! :D

Fracas - hehe. I know I will.

Beth - what do they say otherwise?

Jeaux - again: what do they say otherwise?

Maureen - everyone wants my slippers now. I'll need to hide them when I'm not wearing them, or something. Hmmmm.

Lime - I know. Strange that, really.

Susan said...

Rudy's talking nose is just a subtle reminder that Santa is ALWAYS watching you! :P

Always Home and Uncool said...

Now those are some awesome shoes. Hint: I'm an 11 -- wide.

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgNjn9V_IKw

choochoo said...

Susan - I wonder if a tinfoil hat would stop him...

Always home and uncool - Well, that's too bad. Mine won't fit you, then :P

Anonymous - if you say so, I guess...

Kate said...

Ha ha slippers are awesome!

Kate xx
http://secretofficeconfessions.blogspot.com