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Monday, June 18, 2007

Mucho mojo

I wasn’t much of a fashionista when I was in junior high. Not even close, really. To tell you the truth, I was a bit of a dork. A big bit. That didn’t stop me from trying to look hot, mind you.

All the cool girls in my class had really big hair of the kind that went straight up and then straight down, like a plane crash, and I did my very best to imitate them. Not well, but still. Hairspray was of course an important part of the process. I remember using the kind that turned into a greyish sticky dust after a while. I looked as if I had the worst case of dandruff since… well, since ever, really. Either that or an attack of lice to rival those of a person from the Middle Ages who bathed in cold water only for Christmas and slept on hay alongside of livestock.

One day I’d run out of the stuff. If I had taken the time to develop a sense of style, I would probably have considered that to be a blessing.

But I hadn’t.

So I started searching high and low for a replacement. Anything would do. I tried out every cream and sticky concoction I could find until I discovered one that worked somewhat. It didn’t make my hair stand up much, but it did make it paste nicely to my head, which made it a satisfactory replacement. After applying it, I took a moment to read the tube.

Self tanning lotion.

You know how your scalp, underneath the hair is usually paler than the rest of your face? Mine wasn’t. My face was quite pale – the kinda pale that teenage nerds who spend all summer inside with a book wind up sporting – and my scalp was a dark coconut brown.

Fancy.

14 comments:

TOM said...

I'm sure everyone went "Cuckoo for Coconuts"

Jazz said...

Did you start a trend?

No, I guess not. Nerds don't start trends.

furiousBall said...

There's a dignity in having a brown head, be proud. Brown head.

ticknart said...

Did you shave your head so you could show off the nice color of your scalp?

Evil Spock said...

Ha! Evil Spock had lots of awkward moments like that.

Stupid scene kids and their fancy accouterments . . .

Big Brother said...

LOL. What we do to fit in.

Sornie said...

Never made that mistake but did wear a shirt inside out to work once, does that top tanning one's scalp?

Hageltoast said...

mwahahahaha. i never managed to get "the look" whatever it was at the time either.

Rain said...

Choochoo, we have all had moments like this one, you are not alone!

Thanks for sharing and giving me the giggles!

Freak Magnet said...

That is awesome.

As for products, I've been using Aussie Sprunch Spray since I was 15. That was a long time ago.

For extreme styles, I think it's Got II be or Bed Head that puts out a 'glue'. That's pretty bad butt stuff.

The Truffle said...

I tried using mousse and hairspray as a teenager. Thing is, I hated the way my hair looked and felt. And I don't like spending much time on my hair. I love my hair, mind you--I'm just a wash-and-wear kinda gal. For this reason, and many others, there are no embarassing high school photos of me with big hair. I got off unscathed.

Jocelyn said...

You're just a charmer, girl.

At least you didn't use in your hair what Cameron Diaz did in THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY...

jillie said...

I had stock in Aqua Net...aka Aqua Cement...lol

Oh yea, I remember those "big hair" days and wish I could forget!

choochoo said...

Tom - you'd think so, wouldn't you? I'm sure I made a big impression on everyone, looking like I was wearing a poop-hat. Hehe.

Jazz - I've never seen it copied anywhere.

Furiousball - Damn straight! Brown head power!

Ticknart - no, I didn't think of that. Damn.

Evil Spock - i know. They must be bitch-slapped.

Big brother - strangely, it didn't help... Go figure.

Sornie - no, I've done that, too. Recently, even.

Toasty - I've never even figured out what "the look" is...

Rain - any time, doll

Freak magnet - I'm very thankful for whoever started to invent hairproducts that behave themselves.

The truffle - some people have all the luck.

Jocelyn - no, I didn't really have access to that kinda stuff in junior high. Probably just as well.

Jillie - I also have some scary memories of very, very pink eyeshadow... *shudder*