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Thursday, April 26, 2007

My little alien-sister

As I may or may not have mentioned – probably didn’t – I have a little sister. A little sister who is doing that whole Scandinavian tall thing that I never got the hang of. We’ll call her V.

When we were kids, V developed a somewhat unusual interest: zits. She was fascinated by the whole pimple-popping-process. As soon as one appeared on her face, she’d kill it off and emerge from the bathroom with fresh claw marks on her skin. So far she wasn’t so very much unlike most teens, myself included, but the thing that set her apart, was the fact that once she had squeezed her own zits into oblivion, she started looking around for other people’s.

There was this one summer where her somewhat unusual hobby peaked. And at that particular time, I was lucky enough to have a tiny pimple on my forehead. To regular people like you (possibly) and me, it would be barely noticeable, but to someone like V, it stuck out on my face like a howling, red siren.

After a great deal of begging and pleading, she still hadn’t succeeded in getting her hands on it. V, the zit serial killer was getting desperate for her next casualty.

One rainy day, while I was sitting in the couch watching some mundane teen show, she decided to make her move. Without a sound she slipped down behind the sofa, where she waited quietly for a moment before pouncing.

Have you ever seen Alien? You know that part where the squid-hand-monster-thingy comes out of the egg and latches itself to some screaming victims face? It was like that. I did, however, manage to fight her off before she could lay her eggs inside my chest.

These days she claims to limit the hobby to her husband. Poor bastard.

19 comments:

Jazz said...

What is the fascination with zits? Why is it impossible to have a zit and not pop it?

This being said, your sister's obsession with other people's zits is just a tad over the top...

Hammer said...

I have to pop mine, just becuase pus looks nasty and a ragged bleeding hole in my face looks much better ;)

furiousBall said...

wow, that's love, popping another person's zit has got to be a level of comfortableness with another that most haven't witnessed, nor care to...yikes

ticknart said...

I know people who like to peel the sunburns of others. (And I, being someone who gets burned if he just takes off his shirt, was always a target.) Let me tell you people, even if it's a woman, having you're sunburn peeled is not sexy, it's disgusting, much like others popping your zits.

Lx said...

bizarro.
i like it.
wouldn't do it.
or have it done to me
(although i don't really
have zits anymore)
but i still like
the strangeness of people.

Jocelyn said...

Okay, now you've warmed me up for tales of other members of your family...or more about V.

How about a time YOU attacked HER?

niCk (Mem Beth) said...

That's sounds like my ex-wife. She had a field day when my son started getting pimples. She used to attack me, but I quit having pimples in my late twenties. Maybe that's why she left!

TOM said...

What a wonderful family memory (-:

mist1 said...

My roommate in college my freshman year loved popping pimples. I remember walking in on Lana sitting on Alex, popping his back zits. I also remember asking for a new roommate.

Hageltoast said...

I love zit popping. M is not very tolerant of my attempts do save him from the horror of unpopped pimples. :(

Cochise said...

Hi, Choo!

Isn’t her middle name “Clearasil”? Tell your sis to stop being so acnephobic!

Kiss.

Big Brother said...

eukkk!!! enough said

Viking said...

Gross... And what's grosser is that it seems she's not the only one!

Tisha! said...

little sisters *rolling eye balls* geez I have two :)

Demon23... said...

My lady loves to attack'em on me. She does this as a primate would, only she does not eat the "finds"

choochoo said...

Jazz - I'm mostly just glad that I'm past that whole zit-age.

Hammer - ragged, bleeding holes are always lovely. Yuck.... :)

Furiousball - I can't say I've ever felt that comfy with anyone

Ticknart - I had a sunburn like that once, after I'd been to Bularia. Hurt like hell, it did.

lx - and there's no shortage of strange people.

Jocelyn - would I do that? Well... yes, I would.

Nick - maybe. Draw some red spots on your face and see if she comes back:)

Tom - I know.

Mist1 - Eeeeew, back zits...

Toasty - run, mark! Run! :P

Cochise - not officially, but I did call her that a few times.

Big brother - lol

Viking - True...

Tisha - eyeballs or little sisters? :P

demon23 - neither did V, thank god:)

Freak Magnet said...

I tell myself the huge, bright red spot around it from squeezing it is less noticeable than the pimple itself even though it's ten times bigger.

choochoo said...

Of course it is, hon. Of course it is.

Tisha! said...

both ROFLMAO you kill me!