Monday, April 09, 2007

The Pooch's great adventure

I had big plans for my Easter vacation this year. I was going to do absolutely nothing that had anything to do with work or school or anything like that. I figured I’d read scary books, watch the idiot box and definitely eat my chocolate bunny that I’ve been saving in the fridge for the past two weeks.

It’s a rather large bunny, wrapped in shiny bunny-paper. I’ve picked it up a few times, studied it intently – I even weighed it once on the kitchen scale, just because I wanted to do something with it and the time wasn’t right to eat it just yet.

But in stead I got to take the pooch to the emergency room. On Friday she clearly didn’t feel well and on Saturday morning a friend of mine drove us to the veterinarian, who stuck thermometers up her ass (the dog’s ass, not my friends), x-rayed her (still the dog), said something about a stomach/intestine infection and trapped gas and proceeded to pump her full of medication before sending us home with enough drugs to turn my kitchen table into a full-blown pharmacy. Or at the very least a small drug lab, like the ones you see on NYPD Blue.

That day, my head was full of philosophical questions. Should I change the water in the doggie bowl again? Was the bowl close enough to the pooch’s bed? Did the pooch need to go out? If the pooch didn’t want to go out, should I worry about that? What should I do if she didn’t want to poop? What if she did poop, and had horrible diarrhoea? What if she started throwing up? Etc, etc.

Then the pooch farted. I immediately picked up my cell to inform everyone of the good news. Everyone was thrilled, of course. For the rest of the day, and then through the night, the pooch did her very best to gas me to death. That didn’t matter, though, as I stayed awake most of the night, anyways, to ponder my philosophical questions and see if she needed to poop.

She’s feeling a bit better today, and all of a sudden I remembered that not only do I have a blog in need of updating, but I also have a chocolate bunny which must be getting mighty cold and lonely by now.


Laurie said...

I really must have you meet my sister...

(S)wine said...

that is a painful-looking thermometer.

tomshideaway said...

Hope pooch feels better, You are going to EAT the Bunny??

ticknart said...

Dog farts are just another in the list of why I don't want a dog.

It fall somewhere under the one where I have a problem remembering to feed animals.

none said...

Glad the doggie is better. There is nothing in the world smellier than dog flatulence

Jazz said...

Tell me that's not the thermometer they stuck up her ass (the dog's of course).

And if she had barfed or had horrible diarrhea, you would have mopped it up and said, "good doggie", cause you're just total slave to that dog. Which is as it should be. At least she thinks so.

furiousBall said...

You know farting really is an expression of love. If you're relaxed enough to let one loose, that means you're comfortable with who you're with. Ergo, your dog loves you alot.

Jocelyn said...

I'm just so glad your dog didn't eat your chocolate bunny. The doggie emissions from that would have been dangerous and vile.

Two pounds of chocolate, eh? Nice life. I can't believe you have such will power--keeping it there in the house for weeks and all.

jillie said...

Well happy to hear that things are on the mend and hope you enjoyed your bunny ;o)

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Rain said...

Isn't it wonderful when our pets share their farts with us? Oh, lets no forget the aroma.LOL!
I am glad that your dog is okay.

Enjoy the bunny and have a good week!

choochoo said...

Laurie - is she made of chocolate? Cause then I'd _love_ to meet her

Lx - well, that's not exactly the kind they used... But it's -a- thermometer

Tom - I'm just going to kill it with kindness. No, I'm gonna bite its head off. Buahaha

Ticknart - feeding them is definitly an advantage

Hammer - there really, really isn't. I sleep with my windows open.

Jazz - well... yeah, probably

Furiousball - love, trust, friendship and all that stuff. Plus, she lets me blame her if I should happen to fart a little.

Jocelyn - she doesn't like chocolate. Which is probably just as well, seeing how chocolate is doggie poison in the long run.

Jillie - I enjoyed my bunny very much. Although it did make me a little queasy.

Rain - I plan on trying to forget the aroma as soon as possible....

Big Brother said...

And that is why I have no pets... doggie farts...ughh. At least when it was my kids farting, vomiting and dodo'ing all over the place, I could say to myself, well they are of my blood and will carry on the family line (also I'll get the satisfaction of watching them do the same thing with their kids)

PS Bunny is dark chocolate or milk chocolate?

choochoo said...

Big brother - I keep telling my mother that the pooch is the only grandchild she'll get from me. I think she's coming to terms with the idea. Or something
It was milk chocolate. Yum-yum

Tim Rice said...

I have to laugh - never know what real life or otherwise story you'll come up with next. :)

choochoo said...

Tim - life and I are conspiring to come up with good stuff