Tuesday, April 17, 2007


Hello, my name is Choochoo and I’m an insomniac. (You go: Hi Choochoo!)

These past few days it’s been particularly bad. I go to bed early and spend the next few hours trying spinning like a top, swearing and taking my growing frustration out on my pillow. It’s a good thing pillows don’t bruise, or I’d have been put away for abusing the poor thing. I would have forever been known as a pillowbeater. In a small town like this, word gets around quickly. All the while, the pooch stares at me and no doubt wishes that I would just shut up, already.

A few years ago, I went to see a sleep specialist who gave me a long list of what not to do and a tiny little list of what I ought to do. That’s what it’s always like, ain’t it?

One such advice was to leave my bed once I’d been awake for about twenty minutes or so, to read a boring book or go to the bathroom. I wasn't allowed to look at my watch, though, to see how long I'd been trying to sleep, so I had to guess. And since five minutes feels like an hour when you're basically just staring at the ceiling in the dark, well... Let's just say I got plenty of exercise. Who the hell needs a stairmaster when you have a sleeping-disorder? Not me.

After one quick look at my bookshelf, I decided that my boring books were much to boring, and I would rather knock myself unconscious with a mallet, thank you very much. So off to the bathroom I went. Again and again and again. By morning I had been to the little insomniac’s room so many times, I was starting to feel dehydrated. I was also exhausted from running up and down the stairs. However, I was wide awake.

Better luck again tonight, I suppose. Maybe…
Moon pic by Nadar for


Jazz said...

Well, see? It's good to be wide awake in the morning...

none said...

I'm the same way. There are relaxation techniques that work well for me when I remember to use them.

Big Brother said...

When I get like that I'll usually get a book to read, not boring, just a book. I figure if I am not going to sleep might as well do something constructive. Problem is that the rest of the day is spent feeling sleepy.

furiousBall said...

You know all the good stuff happens when you close your eyes.

Just kidding.


(S)wine said...

oh i am the quintessential insomniac. i haven't slept properly since age 20.

ticknart said...

Here's what you should do:
I have no idea.

At least you could keep you dog up and frustrated, too.

Demon32 said...

When I do sleep... I sleep like a rock.

I am not sure if you are a pot smoker, but two of my friends are in the same boat with you.

They smoke dope before hitting the bed... if this offends you or any other person... well you can imagine my reply how ever you want.

It is better then ambien which one of them was on for 2 years.

jillie said...

I've been an insomniac since my teens. I've tried EVERYTHING! I've worked in a sleep disorder clinic rotation for 6 weeks thinking they could give me a few hints. Why is it that the list of what "not" to do is always longer than what to do???

And offense here. What ever works I'm all for it! Legal or

Jocelyn said...

Yea, we're not the right audience to be offended by Demon23. We all urge you to become a well-rested pothead, Choochoo.

What *is* your brain thinking about when you can't sleep? I've actually realized/accepted that I'm able to sleep fine, so long as I sleep when my body clock naturally wants to, which is going to bed post-1 a.m. and getting up post 10 a.m. Now, in real life, that doesn't usually work, so I'm often overtired. But, man, when I get to live my natural night owl hours, I realize how good it can be.

Cochise said...

Hi, sleepless one!

Maybe you should quit trying to sleep.
One of these days, during daytime, you'll need to put toothpicks in your eyes to keep them from shutting.
Anyway, as long as you don't start hearing voices (other people don't hear) whispering from every side, you're probably OK.

Go to sleep, will you!?

Accept a good night kiss!

tomshideaway said...

cochise is on the right track, When I have a problem getting to sleep I stay in bed with the lights of but I actively try to keep my eyes open and stay awake...invariably I fall asleep..HA!!Also don't keep any angry wolverines in the house, pooch should be ok!

Too_Lively said...

Got pot?

(Sorry, I just had to add that.)

ticknart said...

When reading "They smoke dope before hitting the bed." am I the only one who pictured two guys, stoned out of their gourds trying to beat the crap out of a bed?

Tim Rice said...

That is an annoying situation that fortunately I don't have to deal with too often. But when I do, it can drive me nuts. On a few rare ocassions counting imaginary sheep on my ceiling helped.

choochoo said...

Jazz - bite me:P

Hammer - I have those, but I always manage to muck them up somehow.

Big brother - I know the feeling

Furiousball - Yeah. Probably...

Lx - I stopped sleeping properly waaay before I was twenty. I win!

Ticknart - Spreading the frustration around always helps. Of course, in the end she can sleep through anything...

Demon23 - not offended at all. But the closest thing to pot that I have in my house, is oregano, and I'm not sure wether or not its a good idea to try and smoke it...

Jillie - they just don't want us to have any fun while we're up

Jocelyn - it seems that the less sleep I get, the less sense those thoughts make. Last night, for example, I started contemplating why see-through things are see-through. Then I figured that out and moved on to something equally silly.

Cochise - I used to work graveyard shifts, so I have quit trying to sleep. It didn't help, but I -did- think I was going nuts there for a while, which was kinda interesting.

Tom - no, all the wolverines'll be in the pit, of course

Lively - want oregano? :P

Ticknart - hehe. I do now:)

Tim - if you're seeing sheep on your ceiling, you definitly need sleep

Anonymous said...

Benedryl. It's the PM part of Tylenol PM/Advil PM. If one 25 mg. pill doesn't do it after an hour (yes, look at your clock) then the second little pill will. And when the bedbugs bite you won't itch, either!

Sweet dreams. :-)