Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Rockstar Walkies and itchy toes

Throughout her life, Pooch has fine-tuned a theory. Actually, Pooch has a wide variety of theories. Such as that if she places her head on your left knee, treats pop out of you. Or that if she throws her toys at your head, treats pop out of you. Or that if she sits and stares at you for hours without blinking, treats pop out of you.

The theory I’m refering to at the moment, is a different kind of theory. It claims that walks are more pleasurable if they involve autoasphyxiation. She’s like a small, furry David Carradine. Most doggies can be tought leash manners fairly easily, since they’re pulling to get you from A to B faster. Pooch is different, though. She pulls for the joy of pulling. Them arctic breed types can be funny that way.

I have a confession to make. I was definitly going somewhere with this, but I completely forget where. I got distracted by an itch on my big toe. No matter how much I scratch it, it won’t go away or lessen at all. This leads me to believe that it’s not really located on my toe at all, but somewhere completely different. Ever had that happen to you? You know, when you have an itch on your foot, say, and you scratch your calf and it goes away. Your calf as in your leg, not livestock. That would be taking neurology way to far.

Maybe that’s why people do the autoasphyxiation thingy and die in embarrasing situations. The pressure around their necks affects other areas of the b…. uhm…. Yeah, I decided not to wrap this up after all. I’ll just leave it hanging there.

Pun intended.


Jazz said...

A furry David Carradine...

There's an image I didn't need so early in the morning.

Maybe you should get a sled on wheels and she can pull you wherever you need to go.

Ian Lidster said...

There really are no second acts in autoasphyxiation.

Liked your comment on my blog and I'd like to add you to my blogroll, s'il vous plait.

The mad woman behind the blog said...

I seriously LOVE how your brain works....or the expressions thereof. (always looking for opportunities to use that word. I'm random like that.)

Canine Autoasphyxiation. Explains so much.

Thanks for coming by!

secret agent woman said...

Autoerotic asphyxiation is a bizarre phenomenon, to be sure. But not as bizarre as an itch in your toe triggering thoughts about it. :-)

Jocelyn said...

Dang, Jazz took my line! I was going to tell you my next dog will be named David Carradine.

Damn clever Jazz.