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Sunday, December 18, 2011

Dear God!


I know that, in the past, we may not exactly have seen eye-to-eye. 

I know that I have displeased you by using very bad language. And by inventing very, very bad language. It was mostly uncalled for. I'm sorry. 

I also admit that it was wrong of me to fill my neighbors mail box with insulation foam that time. Even if they did use the hallway between our apartments as their own, personal trash heap and had no volume control. But hey, at least I couldn't open their gas tanks to put those ping-pong balls inside, right? It could have been worse. 

And when I discovered where the neighbors hid their house key, and then buried it in the garden while they weren't home...that was definitely uncalled for. I am almost sure I would have put it back, if I could have remembered where I hid it. But, you know, stuff looks different in the dark...

I also probably shouldn't have re-wired all the computer screens in our college computer lab - so that they were all hooked up to different computers - that time I got bored between classes. It wasn't my idea! I read about it on an Internet page. I was mislead! 

Despite all my obvious flaws, I hope that we can put it all behind us. After all, it's almost a new year and the perfect time for new beginnings, yes? 

Now, I have never considered myself a very religious person (I'm sorry!) but maybe you could prove to me that you exist, by...say...making that ugly wind they announced for the 22nd just sort of...turn around and go away? That way, we will have a pain free sail over to Norway for the holidays without me throwing up in front of people. And in return, I will never, ever, ever touch insulation foam again! 






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8 comments:

haphazardlife said...

Dear God,

Listen to the woman. Cause everything she did to the neighbours? Well, let me put it this way, be afraid, be very very afraid.

Always Home and Uncool said...

Dear ChooChoo,

What! After all these years of good times and shenanigans together, you abandon me? Well, maybe you won't puke, but watch your other end, missy.

Your bud,
The Devil

secret agent woman said...

Hope your prayer is granted.

Jocelyn said...

I dunno. I think a little vomiting, as a tradeoff for all the good you've done over the years (inventing curse words? YESSSS!), is reasonable. Have a barf; then keep making mischief.

Shawn said...

Perhaps not the purpose of your post but tomorrow, I am going into the office early just to rewire the monitors.

Maddy said...

An appealing request. Maybe he/she is available.

mrwriteon said...

I am sorry I missed this. I will be more fastidious in calling in the future, mainly because I love what you write. Happy 2012.

choochoo said...

Jazz - oh yeah!

Uncool - the devil and I will always have a sordid affair.

Secret agent - It was, thank gawd.

Jocelyn - I prefer to have my barfs in private, though. Or maybe make other people barf.

Shawn - You go!

Maddy - you never know

mrwriteon - well, it's not as if I've been prolific lately. I don't have as much time as I'd like to blog or pop by other peoples blogs :/