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Wednesday, August 02, 2006

I dream of bedpans


That's it - I'm over worked. For the second time in less than a week, I've had what I refer to as "THE BEDPAN DREAM"...
In my dream, I'm trying (not to mention failing) to balance a gigantic bedpan, so that the content won't spill out all over the place. It's in no way a roaring success. Or any other kind of success, for that matter. The damn thing keeps rocking back and forth, much like my mum's old dingy did whenever the wind blew a bit. Thankfully, there's no wind when I'm balancing the bedpan from hell...
Giving someone a bedpan, is not fun. First of all, you have to roll the patient over. And why the hell do they call them "patients", anyway??? Never has a term been so misleading. But I digress. As I said, you roll the patient over to the side. That's the easy part. Then you stick the bedpan under their butts, and roll them back. The patient will then proceed to go about their business for a while. At this point, you might wanna wait out in the hallway, or something. It's the polite thing to do. Once that's done, you come back into the room, and roll them over to the side again. And this is where it gets tricky... 'Cause now you have to pull out the bedpan from underneath the patient. That's right. You pull. If you pull to hard, you'll regret it. A lot. I've never done that, but I'm still young.

I really hate bedpans... pic borrowed from http://www.jwolfe.clara.net

2 comments:

Jazz said...

OMG That is so... um... awful. Now I know why I never went into health care. I guess you have to wipe their butts too?

choochoo said...

*sigh*... Yeah.