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Thursday, August 24, 2006

Things that go buzz in the night


Last Friday was my birthday. Never mind how old I was. Some of my oh so clever friends decided to stick their wallets together and buy me a gift. This resulted in two little presents and one larger one. There was quite a bit of giggling as they handed it over, but they always giggle for every little thing (and they're almost thirty. How's that for scary?), so I didn't give it much thought.
Now, as always, my mums came to visit me on my birthday to eat cake and bring presents for me to open. It's a lovely tradition, really. Then came the time to open the presents from my friends.... The first little present contained a battery. The second little present contained another battery. And the third, and final present contained A BLOODY HUGE VIBRATOR. Just the thing that you want to wave around in front of your parents, ain't it? Ehm... No.

So today my mother calls me. "Have you tried the vibrator?" she asks.
"No!" I say. What am I going to say? Yes? Hell, no!
"You have to try it," my mother says, sounding dissapointed.
"Mum, if I had tried it, and you'd asked me if I'd tried my vibrator, the answer would still be a resounding no," I explain.

I mean, honestly...

5 comments:

Hageltoast said...

hmmm, reminds me of a conversation i had with my mum, 13 years ago (I was 15) about the purpose fo flavoured condoms. And a few years ago my Nanna asked me how w=one used tampons, since they weren't available when she had cause to use them (she's 92).

choochoo said...

having a discussion with mum about flavoured condoms... *shudder*

Jazz said...

OMG! I forgot your birthday!!!! Happy belated birthday...

Actually, your mums probably want to know about the vibrator, cause they're wondering which model to get themselves... ;-)

(Geez, us old ladies, huh)

choochoo said...

it's okay, I forgive you. And if my mums want to buy vibrators, they can do so without my help...*shudder some more*

Green Frog said...

Oh Please... Like that is anyway near as terrible as being trapped by mum to have the "remember to pee after sex, and to wash of all of "playthings"" conversation... At least you got to have your talk over the phone :P