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Monday, September 03, 2007

Poor lucky number two

Last night the Pooch woke me up at two am by crawling into my bed and sitting there, staring at me in the darkness like some furry totem pole. I was very tired and didn’t particulary feel like crawling out of my soft, comfortable bed, but I could see from the way her enormous ears were pricking up that she’d already heard me blink and knew that I was awake. She does that, you see. She sticks her face right up in your face and listens intensely for the slightest little flutter of the eyelids.

As much as I disliked the idea of dragging my carcass out of bed in the middle of the night, experience has taught me that the Pooch usually only has two reasons for waking me up at ungodly hours:

1) She’s about to do her impersonation of a busted fire hydrant and projectile vomit everywhere.
2) She’d like to demonstrate her explosive diarrhoea.

Both of these things are better done outside.

So I slithered out of my sheets, into my pants, got the pooch’s collar and outside we went. It was windy. And cold. And windy. Did I mention that it was cold?

The first thing the pooch did was sniff a variety of bushes and trees in the yard. Then she sniffed them again, before she finally decided to pee on lucky number two. After that followed ten minutes of staring blankly into space, before turning around and heading back inside. No projectile anything and absolutely no explosions in sight.

It turns out that Pooch now has a third reason for waking me up in the middle of the night.

3) The Upstairspeople are being noisy and my bedroom is pretty soundproof.

12 comments:

`NEFTY said...

Ahhh, I hate it when my dogs wake me up lol.

Jocelyn said...

Remind me again why having a dog is so much fun?

Freak Magnet said...

I swear my cats can tell I'm awake just from the difference in my breathing. That and me not snoring tips them off.

But at least I don't have to take them out in the middle of the night.

Rain said...

After midnight adventures with my dogs always end up with them chasing a fox, opposums or a cat or two.

The worst part is when they come back in and want to continue to play! Arrgh!

Have a safe and happy Labor Day!

Big Brother said...

It'll get you ready for having kids... projectile vomiting, changing diapers... good luck with the neighbours.

TOM said...

Stuffed animals are much easier to handle. Not those ones you get at the fair they are hard and smell funny, but a nice Gund. Stuffed Bunnies are very nice and never have to pee...ever!!

Jazz said...

Maybe you should send her to spend the nights upstairs...

Hageltoast said...

awww, bless her and hellish living under noisy people, it should be a punishment for evil rather than a living condition you pay rent for. Have you done any evil lately?

jillie said...

I can't tell you HOW many times I've tried to "squeeze" my eyes to a barely open state only to see all 3 dogs staring at me...UGH!

Sornie said...

I now remember why I hated having upstairs or downstairs neighbors. Thank GOD for my house!

Dave said...

Hi ChooChoo!

Came here by way of Haphazard Life. Dogs in the middle of the night... Oh how I can relate!!! LOL

choochoo said...

Nefty - it's less irritating than when someone else's dog wakes you up, though.

Jocelyn - FUN!

Freak magnet - I bet they don't drool much either, huh?

Rain - just be glad as long as they're not bringing back dead possoms...

Big brother - yeah, I'm about as maternal as your sister:)

Tom - I have a stuffed pig. It looks like Satan. If Satan were a stuffed pig.

Jazz - But then who would keep my bed warm? Don't answer that...

Toasty - Not so much, no. But that could be a matter of perspective, I suppose.

Jillie - They probably think it's interesting to watch you squeeze your eyes:P

Sornie - I know. Can't wait to have one someday.

Dave - good to see you. Come back anytime.