A homeless, naked dwarf went berserk this weekend, in the streets of Stockholm. Several people in the area tried to catch the intoxicated dwarf in a net, but failed.
"He was like a fast animal. He moved tirelessly from side to side," says Tareq Ali Andersson, who happened to be passing by, when the dwarf suddenly leaped out, baring his yellow teeth, before he started to thrust his penis up against the parked cars.
"It was terrible. Poor car owners. It looked like it hurt, too. Every time he pressed his little penis against the cars, it froze and stuck, before he tore it loose again. I will never forget the sound that he made before he ran away and disappeared."
Now, this might be politically incorrect of me to say, but I would kill - and I do mean KILL - to have seen that. Even just the bit where people are trying to catch the drunk, naked dwarf in a net... Seriously, to witness something like that, I would stop someone's heart from beating.