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Monday, February 05, 2007

Tag

I’ve been tagged by Jocelyn, so I will now present you with a list of weird things that have happened to me in the past. Six things, to be exact. Now, since this whole blog, more or less, is about weird things that have happened to me, it won’t be that much of a change. Change is bad, after all. Everyone over the age of 70 knows that.

I am completely incapable of remembering my first of anything. Well, with a few obvious exceptions, of course. My first day of school? Not a chance. My first visit to the circus? Nope. It’s as if my brain needs a certain amount of repetition in order to make an event worth remembering. Not that the school-thing hasn’t been repeated a gazillion times, but I’ve already mentioned something about my presence of mind in classes, haven’t I?



My first kiss: One of the few firsts that I’m able to remember. Mostly because it was horrible. I was five years old and in the woods, playing with the boy who lived next door to us, and he wanted to kiss. Since I couldn’t come up with anything better to do, I said yes. He then tried to make my teeth cave in, using his lips. Afterwards he wanted to kiss me again, and I ran like never before.


A lovely barbeque: my friend, Tommy, and I decided that we wanted to have a bbq. It seemed like a very adult thing to do, and we were, after all, nearly eight years old. It was high time we started doing grown-up stuff. The fact that we didn’t have any food didn’t face us at all. Who needs food when you have large bits of Styrofoam? We had a strong suspicion that our parents would interfere with our brilliant plan, should we be seen while burning something, so we found a perfect hiding place underneath his father’s big truck. Of course someone ended up seeing the smoke and they completely freaked out. Just because we were underneath the gas tank. Talk about being overly sensitive.

Thorboy: he was my doll. I hated to play with dolls when I was a kid. Thorboy, however, was an anatomically correct boy doll. That’s right – he had a little thingy. Not only that, he came equipped with a little bottle which you could fill with water and use to feed him. The water would then run through his little doll body and out of his little thingy. In the end, I ran so much water through poor Thorboy, he rotted on the inside and my mum threw him away.



When my alarm goes off in the morning, I have to press the snooze button twice, otherwise I feel like I haven’t fully enjoyed my morning snooze time. However, that means that I don’t get up until 20 minutes after the alarm goes off for the first time. Sooo… I now set my alarm 20 minutes earlier, just so that I can push the snooze button. Yes, I know I’m sick.



Sometimes, when I’m feeling domestic, I bake doggie cookies (yes, there is such a thing). Baby porridge is a key ingredient in these little culinary canine delights. Also, my dog has a baby toothbrush – right now it’s a purple one in the shape of Barney the dinosaur - for when I need to clean her teeth (that guy who claimed that there was nothing like the smell of napalm in the morning, never woke up with a dog breathing on him). One day I met this lady by the grocery isle, who had apparently snuck a peek into my shopping basket on previous occasions, and she starts talking to me. Suddenly she asks me about my baby. My brain tries to run away screaming. In stead I simply say that I’ve never had a baby, offering no explanation to the baby stuff in my little, blue basket, although she looked very curious indeed (Hellholers are very curious people). She probably thought I was going to eat it myself. Serves her right.

16 comments:

Jazz said...

Ah the snooze button. I used to have an alarm clock with no snooze button, so I had two alarm clocks. You need a snooze.

Hageltoast said...

i love snooze, but yes you are sick. :)

Jocelyn said...

I hope when you had a Very Certain First, you didn't call it a "little thingy."

Fun list, Ms. Choochoo.

choochoo said...

Jazz - I use my cellphone. It's got a snooze button, as well.

Hageltoast - I'm sure they'll make a pill for it eventually

Jocelyn - hehe. No comment.

Too_Lively said...

I have heard that people with eating disorders will sometimes eat only baby food to avoid gaining weight. :)

carrie said...

i think it's funny that you end this by saying "serves her right"

that made me laugh.

choochoo said...

Lively - I tried to give my dog some of the porrige once, and she refused to eat it, so I guess she's okay:D

Carrie - laughing is always good. Unless is's one of those crazy scientist laughst that happens for no reason and could get you locked up, that is

Anita said...

You could always start making up your firsts, and NEVER do a second, then you won't have a problem with it. First time to put ice cream on lemons, first time to ride a surfboard on a sidewalk, etc. You could create a list of firsts you'd never forget.

Freak Magnet said...

My first kiss was at 15, the guy was 28 and drunk, and he snuck it, his tongue feeling like a giagantic worm. So that doesn't count.

My first REAL kiss was me leaning out the window and the guy teetering on the ledge outside. Tres romantic.

mist1 said...

I hate the snooze button because it's on nine minute intervals. It makes me cranky.

choochoo said...

Anita - great idea. The first time I killed a clown in the moonlight, the first time I lost an arm in a dogfight. Both very interesting first with very ittle chance of being repeated.

Freak magnet - Ooooh;)

Mist1 - well, nine minutes is just plain irritating. It makes no sense.

Steven Novak said...

I HATE the damn snooze button.

MY wife will push that thing for half an hour every morning!

Steve~

choochoo said...

sometimes, if it's my day off, I forget to turn my alarm off, and I can end up pushing the snooze button for a whole hour... lol

gledwood said...

How bizarre: this is the second time I've come across the 6 weird things tagger that got me - but thru ppl I don't know at all...

I got tagged thru my friend Ruth. And I'm at gledwood2.blogspot.com ... so if that makes any sense ...

Anyway you're welcome to drop by, mine's very different to yours ... oh and you can enter my fantabulous competition while you're there!!

Take care now

Gledwood

Gledwood said...

PS i don't get where you are? You say "you Americans" as if you aren't one ... where are you then? Where are you from?

choochoo said...

gledwood - it's a higly contagious tag, I think. lol