Pages

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

True joy and all that crap

My internet connection is gone. Vanished. I don’t know where it went. Maybe it’s off skiing in the mountains along with all the good, little Hellholians. It’s what people do around here. I’ve never been able to understand why.

Anyways, I am now hoping for a little man to come fix my connection. I’m just not sure on when he plans on showing up. Then yesterday morning, the doorbell rang. I knew immediately that it couldn’t be the upstairs-people. They’ve never figured out the intricate workings of my doorbell. It’s complicated. A button on a wall. Oooh. The upstairs-people just knock. Which I figure is a good reason to pretend I don’t hear them.

But I digress.

The doorbell rang, and I thought it had to be the internet-fixer-man. Who else could it be? So I hurried to answer the door, completely forgetting that I had make-up on only one – 1 – eye. That eye did look damn good, but still…

As the door swung open, I expected to see your standard, run-of-the-mill handyman type of a person standing outside. Instead I found myself staring straigt at the latest issue of The Watchtower. An overly cheery woman with a strangely far-away look in her eyes was peeking out from behind it. “Would you like to learn the path to true joy?” the lady asked.

“No, not really,” I said and closed the door in her face. I know the path to true joy already. It’s for me to get my internet connection back and waste some time surfing.

13 comments:

ticknart said...

I wonder if that woman was satisfied. I'd never trust anyone who wasn't satisfied to point me on the path to true joy.

Tai said...

She was selling the path to true joy?
Wonder how much THAT'S worth, and can I buy shares in it?

Jazz said...

Oh my. Are you fixed yet?

Sornie said...

I actually think that the path to true joy is slamming the door in the face of people like that. See, you found true joy already!

Hammer said...

the path to true joy isn't all that great actually. ;)

Big Brother said...

Humm from your description she seemed to have partaken a little bit too much of her "path to true joy". Hope your connection to the wide world comes back soon, if not you'll be stuck with the Watchtower lady and the people from upstairs for company. Shuddddeeeer!

TOM said...

Hey, I got help from a Cable Girl last time...hope you are back up soon..Happy Happy Joy Joy

Freak Magnet said...

I was at my brother's, watching the nieces when 'they' came to the door. They acted like they had already talked to my brother. After they said some stuff, I snorted/laughed and said, "My brother, in a million years, would never say that, stay away and leave my nieces alone." Then I shut the door. Your response was so much better

Hageltoast said...

lol, round here they make their kids ask I think on the basis you are less likely to be abusive.Fortuntely my outer door is well glassed, so I open the inner one, look at them and close it again.

Jocelyn said...

And to finish your make-up.

Way to throw it back in The Watchtower lady's face!

TOM said...

Comment number 2: Should have told you found the path and it's paved with mushrooms!! Of course if her eyes had that faraway look she may have taken the same path!!

choochoo said...

Ticknart - I didn't ask. She looked a bit -too- satisfied, if you ask me.

Tai - there are lots of people selling the path ot true joy. You know, like Oprah.

Jazz - fixed for joy or just fixed? Ooooh, the internet. Well, obviously.

Sornie - actually, true joy is watching people like that annoy your neighbours and then think you're not home.

Hammer - all those irritating twists and turns.

Big brother - it was quite a relief to have it back.

Tom - I had the stereotypical, chubby handyman with the asscrack hanging out...

Freak magnet - hehe, well you -are- the freak magnet:P lol

Toasty - I got nothing like that. It's always an unpleasant surprise.

Jocelyn - finishing ones make-up is always a good idea...

Anonymous said...

That's funny, I found one of their flyers on the door while I was out of town this week. Haven't heard anything out of this outfit in years. They are like the 17 year cicadas, but, like, 3 years instead of 17. Probably the church has invested in mortgage-backed securities that are up in smoke and now needs more moulah.