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Wednesday, October 08, 2008

A commitment-phobic cold

I have a commitment-phobic cold. Unlike a regular cold, which will creep up on you at the most inconvenient of times, and then reduce you to a flem-soaked, sniffling wreck, a commitment-phobic cold only turns up for a few hours at the time. You feel a slight tingle in your throat as you wake up in the morning. Your head gets woolly while you’re watching your favourite tv show in the evening. What really separates the CP cold from the onset of a regular cold, is the fact that the CP never stays the night.

That’s probably just as well.

Sometimes a commitment-phobic cold might be confused with a shy cold, but there are some very distinguishing marks. A shy cold will rear its little head just as your falling asleep. Or you might wake up at night, not feeling 100 %, with just enough presence of mind to think “I hope I’m not getting sick.” The reason for that is that a shy cold is… well, shy. It would rather not draw too much attention to itself.

Sometimes a CP cold – and sometimes a shy cold, although this is rarer - grows into a full-fledged man-cold. That’s what happens when a CP cold overcomes its fear of commitment and decides that it would rather never leave, and focuses all its attention on you until you’re completely convinced that you’re going to drown in your own mucus.

So let’s hope that doesn’t happen…

8 comments:

Jazz said...

Life's a bitch, eh?

Hagelrat said...

the colds, they haz a plan.

Jocelyn said...

Indeed. The only think worse than a stalker is an obsessive.

TOM said...

Hot apple cider and rum, get that cold drunk !!

Big Brother said...

Funny, after teaching for 31 years I've seen just about every strain of flu and cold virus possible... so my immune system has built up a veritable horde of antibodies. My microbiologist daughter says that I'm at the peak efficiency of being immune, I've built up a lot of antibodies and my immune system hasn't declined too much because of age... I'll enjoy it while it lasts.

Freak Magnet said...

GET YOUR GERMS AWAY FROM ME!!! STOP TRYING TO LICK ME THROUGH THE SCREEN!!

Tim said...

ChooChoo, you certainly have a way of saying things. :)

choochoo said...

Jazz - and then you die, as the song goes.

Hagelrat - I've always thought so...

Jocelyn - juppjupp

Tom - hmm. But it could turn into a clingy drunk. Drape itself around you and go "yoursh my fhrien' shand I shvove you vhery mush".

Big - oh, you prolly just haven't met the right cold, yet;)

Freak magnet - GIVE US A KISS!

Tim - jupp, and I say things aaall the time.