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Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn, plus other things you might as well learn:


  1. Interchangable parts - won't.

  2. Leakproof seals - will.

  3. Selfstarters - won't.

  4. If you try to please everyone, nobody will like you.

  5. A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.

  6. Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate

  7. Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.

  8. In order to get a loan, you must first prove that you don't need it.

  9. The chance of a piece of bread falling buttered side down, is directly proportionate to the prize of the carpet.

  10. Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought.

  11. If it jams - force it. If it breaks it needed to be replaced anyway.

  12. If you fool around with a thing for very long, you will screw it up.

  13. The repairman will never have seen a model quite like yours before.

  14. No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, as soon as you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

  15. The other line always moves faster.

  16. Every solution breeds new problems

  17. All warranties expire upon payment of invoice.

  18. There is always one more bug.

  19. A bird in the hand is better than one overhead.

  20. Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.

  21. Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

  22. Smile... tomorrow will be worse.

8 comments:

ticknart said...

23. Don't bother to pick the hair out of your food, there's always another, or worse

TOM said...

Another for the List...When anything is advertised as free, there is always a cost associated with it that is more than the item is worth !!

Jazz said...

You only need two tools in life: Duct tape for what moves and shouldn't and WD40 for what doesn't move and should.

Freak Magnet said...

I'm feeling #8 right now, and making sure I don't do #21. I'm going to sit in the corner, hugging my knees and cry hysterically if #22 is true.

Tim Rice said...

Some of these are quite real; but I take issue with the last one - Smile... tomorrow will be worse. Most of the time if one consistently practices smiling life gets better. It's the attitude one takes towards life that ultimately shapes it.

Phil said...

23. never and always are always never true.

choochoo said...

Ticknart - and if you own a dog, that's certainly true...

Tom - jupp.

Jazz - hmm. Now I'm curious...

Freak magnet - I'll eat some candy for you, and you'll feel all better.

Tim - good point

Phil - LOL:D

Chris said...

I can think of something good that isn't illegal, immoral or fattening...