Pages

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Pooch in the mood for love

I am currently living in a hell of screaming and howling and the constant sound of IIIIIII and pitter-patter of claws scurrying from the door to the window. Back and forth, back and forth.

The Pooch is in heat…

Granted, the pooch has been in heat before and she’s always been a little whiny during that period, but this is the first time that she’s ever had a hunky man-thing sitting right outside her bedroom window. And if Pooch had been given more experience with hunky man-things over the years, she would have learned to separate them from the sickly boys with dickey tickers, like the one sitting right outside said window.

Last night she became ready for the making of the pups. On that very day, I decided to let her come with me to take out the trash. Pooch loves taking out the trash. She’s also a big fan of fetching the mail and raking leaves. Not that she helps any, she just likes to watch.

Anyway, our trip to the trash bins took us right past where Hunky Man-Thing sits on his lead. Pooch looked at him. Hunky Man-Thing looked at pooch. Then Pooch realized that I we were heading back to the house – the complete opposite direction of where her heart (and other bits, obviously, that I won’t bring up here) told her to go. In protest, she planted her bottom firmly on the wet lawn.

Great.

So I pulled.

Pooch resisted as best she could. If she’d had those big, bulgy buttocks that some creatures have, I’m sure she would have clenched onto every little piece of grass.

Eventually I dragged her onto her feet, and she walked all of two paces before dropping down on her side and immediately beginning to screech. It was like watching a two-years old throw a tantrum in a store.

I ended up having to drag her along like a carcass. The only thing which separated her from any piece of roadkill, were the high-pitched squeals emanating from her.

Two more weeks of this. I’m going to lose my tiny mind.

13 comments:

Charity said...

hee hee hee! What a fun blog to read! :-)

tinakala said...

Aren`t there some pills to stop her suffering and ease the heat? And there are other pills that let her enjoy some Hunky Manthings but not get puppies. Give her the pill and let her git some :)

Jazz said...

Yeah, really, is there no contraception for dogs???

ticknart said...

I take it girl dogs don't lick themselves like boy dogs do?

Big Brother said...

You mean her whines saved her... my but you are patient. I'd say neuter time...

Freak Magnet said...

My cat would go into heat for what seemed like a freaking MONTH at a time. She got so bad, one night I put her out in my car (it was cool and I put the litter box and food in, too) just so I could get some sleep. She got out one night and came back with this guilty look on her face, and she was at the vet's the next day to get fixed. No kitties for this kitty.

TOM said...

Stuffed animals are much easier to care for..like this Bunny ----->

Dory said...

When my dog, elli, comes into heat, she just humps the cat.
He used to fight it, but now he just waits for her to 'finish' (i.e. get bored)

Tai said...

um...what a trying time. For both of you!

Sornie said...

Very reminiscent of when our cat went in to heat the very first time. She got fixed a couple weeks later.

Jocelyn said...

My thought is the same as Jazz's: could you get her on The Pill and then let them at it?

Oy.

Tim Rice said...

You need to find a companion for your Pooch. ;)

choochoo said...

Charity - thank you. Come back any time.

Tinkala - if I did let her get some, the effort would probably kill Hunky... Poor pooches.

Jazz- I have no idea... I'll have to check with the vet.

Ticknart - it doesn't seem to be doing anything for her.

Big brother - I know. I deserve a prize of some sort. Preferably something edible.

Freak magnet - oh, I bet she didn't really feel guilty. Not deep, deep inside.

Tom - but you look so silly walking a stuffed animal...

Dory - maybe I should get my pooch a pet

Tai - I know. It's a trial. hehe.

Sornie - Hehe. She's usually not so bad. This time was exceptional.

Jocelyn - Maybe. But no way would Hunky's poor constitution take it. I think it's bad luck to kill your landlords dog.

Tim - like a boy doggie prostitute.