I was sitting here in the sofa, wondering what I would do for my very first blogpost this year. Lots of people are writing about their New Year’s resolutions, I thought. Maybe I could do that? But then I’d have to come up with at least one New Year’s resolution and my brain is far too sluggish after three weeks of eating 24/7 to do that.
So I’m going to tell you about my new toothbrush.
It was a Christmas present. It came in a large box. Alright, it was a medium sized box. But it was nice and square. I like presents that are nice and square. They’re more interesting than the oddly shaped ones.
My toothbrush is a magical toothbrush.
Well…no, it’s not –really- magical, but it’s very fancy smancy. It has a control panel and a space ship. Okay, perhaps it’s not an actual spaceship, but the travel case that came with it looks slightly spaceship-ish.
Said control panel went up on the bathroom wall, where it carefully monitors my toothbrushing progress. If I do exactly as I’m told – brushing-wise – for two minutes, it will display a smiley face and all will be well with the world. The thing is, when I unwrapped it, the little face WINKED at me. It hasn’t winked since and I’m very curious as to what I have to do in order for it to do it again. I’ve done some experimenting, and I’ve arrived at the conclusion that I may have to get all dressed up, like I was when I opened the present.
Besides, it seems like an awful lot of work to get all dolled up before I brush my teeth at night in order to get a toothbrush to wink at me. I’m not that starved for attention, thank you very much. I mean, I haven’t quite given up on men yet and I haven’t even –considered- becoming a lesbian yet.
Or maybe it’s mad at me. The first night I had it, I ate cookies at night after I’d brushed my teeth. Maybe it knew. Maybe it looked inside my mouth the next morning and thought “This crumb wasn’t here last night!” Maybe I should be more careful, unless I want my head electrocuted.
I’m going to have to give this some more thought.