Wednesday, June 25, 2008

CHESS. It’s a well-known board-game, a phone company, a book AND it was a youth club in Little Hellhole, back when I was a kid. It’s quite remarkable that Little Hellhole could have had a youth club, considering that - with a few exceptions - I was the only youth living there. Then again, it did end up having a shorter lifespan than your average boyband.

Chess was more or less run by the three queens of our junior high school and their ladies-in-waiting. Every school has them: the picture perfect, trendy – and vicious – girls who seemingly sold their souls to the devil to make themselves irresistible to every guy and hated, yet idolised, by every girl around. This might also account for the clubs sudden death: 15 year olds don’t make good businesspeople. Especially the ones with no social skills. Go figure.

But I digress.

The Trio of Hairspray kept court once a week and spent the other six babbling about how much fun they had the last time. Tami was on top of the food chain, with an endless string of boyfriends and emotional issues. I suppose I should feel bad for her, for all the crap she put herself through, but in my head her name is still synonymous with the term “raving bitch.” Second and third to the throne were Helen and Mindy, respectively. Both did their very best to push Tami off said throne. When she wasn’t around to see what they were up to, that is.

The reason why I bring this up is because I recently ran into Tami again. I recognised her immediately, since neither her hair nor outfit seemed to have changed since junior high. Since then, a large, white spot of crusty baby spit-up had been added to her jacket and she had gained enough weight to make my week and then some. She didn’t recognise me. Nobody does. That might be just as well, really.

On my way home, I walked past where Chess had used to be, in the basement of a grocery store. The black and white linoleum floor from where it had derived its name, visible through the large glass windows, seemed terribly small. I’m very glad that I’m not 15 anymore.

And I’m very glad that Those Girls are now fat and earning minimum vague.

Ever since then, I have walked around with a bounce in my high-heeled steps. I am cheerful, yes I am.


none said...

I love seeing the snotty cheerleaders, student council presidents and Ahole jocks around town. Especially if they are fat, bald, or working at the gas station.

It kind of makes up for those years of torment by the elite.

ticknart said...

Haven't been through this sort of thing. It makes sense, though, since I only really, really hated one person in school. Still hoping that his scrotum will be ripped off and his testes will unravel like a ball of yarn dropped from the roof. That'll be a good day for me.

tomshideaway said...

I wqs too busy smoking pot to worry about all those snotty pricks in high school

Jocelyn said...

Karma makes me so happy.

That trio of bitches you describe makes me want to go back and watch HEATHERS again.

choochoo said...

Hammer - amen to that. And if I were to run into an elite who was slim and gorgeous and successfull, I'd probably have to kill them.

Ticknart - hell, that'd be fun for me, too. If it happens, I wanna see pictures:D

Tom - lol. A kid in my class used to bring oregano to school, pretending it was pot... He got beat up a lot.

Jocelyn - I hear ya

Jazz said...

Karma she is a bitch. And wont to bite you in the ass...

Heh! Gotta love it.

Adele said...

lol, sadly my Tami is apparently willy successfully and desperately thin. Harrumph. There's no justicein coventry. glad there is som ein little hellhole.

choochoo said...

Jazz - hopefully, she won't

Toastie -, that's just not fair, in any way. Just pray that she's on drugs, or something.

Anonymous said...

I moved three states away from my Chess and I couldn't be happier about it. I haven't seen anybody I graduated with in at least 10 years. And that's just fine with me. Although I would loooove to see some of those bitches with an extra 40 pounds.