Saturday, August 29, 2009

A cunning plan!

In the not all that remote future I will be out there, looking for employment. I've decided on a very clever course of action, should someone be foolish enough to not be dazzled by my considerable charm and decide to actually reject me:

Dear ......,

Thank you for your letter rejecting my application for employment with your firm.

I have received rejections from an unusually large number of well qualified organizations. With such a varied and promising spectrum of rejections from which to select, it is impossible for me to consider them all. After careful deliberation, then, and because a number of firms have found me more unsuitable, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your rejection.

Despite your company’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my requirements at this time. As a result, I will be starting employment with your firm on the first of the month.

Circumstances change and one can never know when new demands for rejection arise. Accordingly, I will keep your letter on file in case my requirements for rejection change.

Please do not regard this letter as a criticism of your qualifications in attempting to refuse me employment. I wish you the best of luck in rejecting future candidates.




sundby said...

I'm sure you won't need it.

Jazz said...

They wouldn't dare reject you.... not if they know what's good for them...

Adele said...

lmao. excellent.

choochoo said...

Sundby - better safe than sorry

Jazz - I know how to use sharp sticks.

Hagelrat - juppjupp

Jocelyn said...

Until the end there, I kept thinking this was an extended elaborate set-up to the punch line. But no!

Good thing the burglar didn't go straight for the laptop. Pete would have been looking through the camera on it straight up the burglar's nostrils.

Jocelyn said...

Okay, I've just realized I'm posting my comments on the wrong you probably well know, I'm kind of challenged. The whole "comment button at the top of the post" is very confuzzing for me.

Shweta said...

i betcha you'll get the job out of sheer perserverance! aha, this was hilarious to read. Sorry to hear you were rejected. =/ The places I've applied aren't even kind enough to reject to me!